One of Those Days

Have you ever had one of those days when you just feel like nothing's going your way? Like nothing you're working on is working? Or like nothing will ever work out the way you want it to?

Sometimes, no matter how much we think we are practicing positivity and gratitude, those old familiar fears, doubts and worries can sneak up on us, ambush us and bonk us over the head with their yucky negativity.

How do I know this? Haha, very funny. Yeah I know this very well because yes, it sometimes even happens to me! In fact, it just happened to me yesterday. Yes, really!!

Yes, even though I just celebrated my birthday on Monday -- during which so many people made me feel so special and I was reminded again of all the amazing love in my life -- I still had a crappy day after the birthday. Maybe it was just the letdown after experiencing so much special attention on my birthday (LOL) or maybe I just let myself be overtaken by that old Bermuda Triangle of fear, doubt and worry... Either way, the results were less than stellar.

Here's the thing: 

On one hand, my life feels pretty charmed, even including the fact that I just spent six months dealing with (and BEATING!) cervical cancer. That fact is included because I feel I've been given an incredible opportunity to decide what I really want out of life AND experience an amazing amount of love and support from my community. 

On the other hand, a bunch of new stress-mongers keep knock-knocking at my door, growing louder and more insistent every day. For example:

  • Since the end of January, my health has taken a small step backwards, with weird uncomfortable digestive issues and renewed fatigue topping the list. A new battery of tests this week (abdominal CT scan included) and a follow-up PET scan in Boston top that fun list. Hoping for easily fixable results from all of the above. Cross your fingers for me please!
  • My quest for new income sources has yielded several enticing bites but nothing solid as yet. Hey, if you're looking for writing, marketing or accountability help for your business, I'm your gal (and I'm having a sale this month)! ^^ Just click on that blue link ^^ for more info!
  • The waiting game continues with other payouts like insurance and my tax return...
  • Meanwhile, next month's bills loom ahead and this weekend is Celia's final college audition, in NYC of course! 

As you can see, if I'm not careful, these little buggers can spiral out of control and become big scary monsters (kinda like they did yesterday...). Who needs that, right?? Not me!!

So, I work EVERY. DAMN. DAY. to stay in gratitude, because I know that worry won't solve a thing. In fact, it makes everything WORSE. And I know that remaining focused on the positive in my life is not just the best but the ONLY way to keep moving forward.

These are my top remedies for keeping the scary monsters at bay and staying grateful when you're having one of those crappy, icky, negative, scary days:

1) Pull out your favorite inspirational book and READ IT
Those inspirational writers know a thing or two about helping you feel better. 

2) Talk to your bestie
There is nothing like a good old fashioned chat with your best friend to help you see things more clearly and make you feel better in no time at all. (Thanks, Angel and Celia! xoxo)

3) Find as many silver linings as you can
For me, the silver lining of a dark cloud represents the most beautiful, most subtly shimmering strand of joy that can be extracted from an otherwise awful situation. Seek and you shall find it.

4) Distract and conquer
Distract yourself by doing something fun! Crank up your fave tunes and have yourself a dance party!! Color a page of your most beautiful coloring book. Pull out your old photo files (paper or digital, it doesn't matter) and reminisce about the good old days. Go bowling!! Whatever floats your boat.

5) Make a list
Think about all the many, many things you're grateful for and write that shit down. Start with the air you breathe and keep going until you can't think of a single thing anymore. If you don't keep one already, start a gratitude journal or jar or box so you can go back and look for inspo on other days like this one -- because they will come up every now and again.

6) Help someone else
Helping a friend or a pet in need can really help you focus on something else while simultaneously helping you realize that maybe you don't have it so bad, after all.

7) Get your sweat on
Yeah, that PhD in body movement really comes in handy at times like these. See #4, Dance Party.

8) Create a vision board
If you haven't done this yet, I highly recommend this incredibly fun and relaxing way to bring your goals and dreams to life, either on paper or digitally, like on Pinterest. I personally use both media! Pinterest is always at the ready on my phone, useful whenever I'm waiting in line or waiting for an appointment. And there is just something so juicy about creating a paper vision board that really gets me jazzed! So much so that I'm leading a vision board workshop next Friday night, March 2nd at Innerglow Yoga in Mashpee! Check below for details!

© 2018 Pamela C Wills, Int’l

 One of my most recent masterpieces...

One of my most recent masterpieces...

  Especially grateful for these three rock stars: my daughter Celia, my mom Celine and my dad Jim. They keep me going and have my back like nobody else. Thanks guys! I love you so much! 

Especially grateful for these three rock stars: my daughter Celia, my mom Celine and my dad Jim. They keep me going and have my back like nobody else. Thanks guys! I love you so much! 


Have you heard?? February is my birthday month, so I've dropped all the prices in my online Emporium for the whole month! Most of the digital/audio items are on sale for just $5 each -- including my popular Fight the Fright ebook.

But the juiciest discount is on my private telephone coaching service -- only $50/hr (my top hourly rate is normally $300). That means if you book your hours with me during this month, you can book as many as you like at just $50 -- and use them all year long! 

Take a look at and check the offers, they're pretty sweet! Happy February!


Hey there! I'm Ringleader Pam!

It's true that many years have seen many hats on my head, but one thread makes them all part of one unique collection: my passion for story.

More than 25 years of experience in writing and editing, public relations, sales and marketing, social media, networking, teaching, public speaking and yes, even dance and choreography fill this gal's cocktail shaker of a life -- definitely shaken, not stirred -- and give me the ability to serve up exactly what my clients need.

Whether it's written content, sales and PR/marketing help, confidence boosts, a great speech, accountability and mentoring or dance lessons for the movement shy, my glass-overflowing positivity, optimistic attitude and contagious enthusiasm for my clients' successes took many years of many tries and fails to cultivate -- a success story of my own that has thankfully won me thousands of admiring fans! Want more? Download your FREE report at today!

Slow to get rolling in 2018?

If you're anything like me, recovering from a big challenge has you starting off 2018 with a bit of trepidation, or maybe you're just feeling a bit slow to get rolling. Whatever your challenge was, last year really turned out to be a doozy, amiright?? Nevertheless, we made it through the holidays, hopefully had some fun and started feeling a little more energetic and optimistic.

Still though, you might be feeling kind of emotionally hungover, like the remnants of that challenge still have you wrapped up like a warm but somewhat prickly blanket. It's hard to shake off those feelings of weakness and dis-ease, all those things you went through that still cross your mind all too frequently. And shaking all that off at this time of year, in the dark of winter, might be proving extra difficult right now.

Usually, at this time of year I'm the gal who's all gung-ho, starting the year with a BANG. Usually, I've got my brand new goals posted all over my office walls/on my phone/on my social media, plus a calendar already filled with a crazyass new rehearsal schedule and buzzy networking events three times a week. Can you imagine?? Well, this year looks a LOT different. 

I mean, for the past few months, my schedule has consisted mostly of doctor visits, hospital treatments, naps, an occasional Facebook post and more sleep. Not necessarily in that order.

Of course, once I finished all my treatments for cervical cancer and got the green light on my health -- along with the AWESOME news that I officially KICKED CANCER'S ASS in 55 days! -- I slowly started to push the edges of my comfort zone here and there, both physically and mentally. I gotta tell you, it was really really hard to find a balance between doing too much and not doing enough. And the going has been very slow, testing my patience pretty much every day.

Then, there was a whole lot of holiday activity, with invitations to get out and socialize here, there and everywhere. OMG I truly missed socializing during those previous, very sleepy 55 days!! Choosing carefully and saying no to most of the holiday invites was hard, too but getting enough rest during that first month of recovery was crucial to my success.

So I chose to stay at home, keep my pjs on and rest. A LOT.

All that rest did give me the opportunity to spend a few hours journaling, which is a fave activity I don't often get a chance to do. I wrote all about my 2017 experiences, released as much emotional baggage about last year's challenges as possible and really wrapped things up for myself.

I have to say, getting that done really helped me through the emotional hangover I talked about earlier. If you haven't had the chance to reflect and regroup like this yet, I highly recommend it. No worries, you're not too late! Here are a few things to consider:

* What were some highlights from 2017 that you're most proud of, that made you happiest? Even with challenges, there are always sunny moments here and there. Take a moment to remember them, and pat yourself on the back for your accomplishments.

* What actions did you take in 2017 that were new for you, or that pushed you to grow? Growth and challenges go hand in hand, so I'm guessing you'll find at least a couple of things to think about here.

* What were your toughest challenges? Maybe you had more than just the big one, like me. In addition to the cancer thing, I also let go of a relationship, a part-time job, a client and a car in 2017! All of which were no longer in alignment with who I was or wanted to be. Hint: your challenges might be the same as what pushed your growth.

* What were your biggest lessons? Take some time to dig deep here, as there may be more gold nuggets hidden under the surface than you think. Your growth moments can give you big clues about your lessons.

* What will you release and leave completely behind you in the past? Letting go is essential to moving on. 

And finally,
* What does your IDEAL 2018 look like? It's okay to dream super big here! Is it winning the lottery? Buying a new car? Landing your dream job or client? You can't dream too big here! Go for the gold!

Once you answer these questions, you'll see what you truly want to focus on in this new year. For me, it also helps to decide on a personal theme or word for the year, one that I can apply to my life on the daily. For 2018, my word is JOY. My intention for 2018 is to find joy in everything I do, to only pursue and accept work that makes me feel joyful, to give joy to others whenever and wherever possible and to bring joy into my home surroundings. After a year like 2017, this feeling of joy is a MUST for me!!!

Take an hour to answer these questions and see if it helps you shake off that blanket of MEH. If you haven't been feeling very gung-ho, either then maybe you just need to release a little more emotional gunk. Or maybe you just need more time to rest and heal. Either way, it's okay.

If there's one thing I've learned from fighting cancer, it's that listening to my body is the best healing tool I've got. If my body says we need to sit down and rest, I'm on it. If she tells me to take a nap, I'm down. If potato chips are the only palatable food imaginable (true story, for like three weeks during chemo), then Cape Cod Potato Chips are the only things crossing these lips!

Listening and ACCEPTING these intuitive cries from my inner self was really one of the toughest lessons I faced during my challenge. I am very sure that paying attention and honoring that inner voice contributed greatly to my success. In fact, it was such a successful habit that I plan to continue listening and honoring it from now on. This intention is the cornerstone of my radical self care plan, the one I'm taking into this new year and beyond.

I hope you'll join me! May our next 360 days be filled with joy and self-love! 

xoxo Ringleader Pam


PS: During my recovery phase, which is definitely taking the full eight weeks the doctors told me it would, I’ve been working on new ways to support Celia and myself financially in 2018 because most of my former income sources are gone... It would be awesome if we could reach our fundraising goal soon, to give me just a smidge more time to get that income thing rolling again. Any help you can give would be super helpful!! 

Click this link to donate: 

Thank you so much!!

© 2018 Pamela C Wills, Int’l


Hey there! I'm Ringleader Pam!

It's true that many years have seen many hats on my head, but one thread makes them all part of one unique collection: my passion for story.

More than 25 years of experience in writing and editing, public relations, sales and marketing, social media, networking, teaching, public speaking and yes, even dance and choreography fill this gal's cocktail shaker of a life -- definitely shaken, not stirred -- and give me the ability to serve up exactly what my clients need.

Whether it's written content, sales and PR/marketing help, confidence boosts, a great speech, accountability and mentoring or dance lessons for the movement shy, my glass-overflowing positivity, optimistic attitude and contagious enthusiasm for my clients' successes took many years of many tries and fails to cultivate -- a success story of my own that has thankfully won me thousands of admiring fans! Want more? Download your FREE report at today!



It's taken almost two weeks for the news to sink into my still slightly addled brain but, it's all true -- we did it!! 

My 56-day treatment protocol to cure me of cervical cancer ended on November 28th. Two weeks later, at my first follow up appointment in Boston, my doctor told me that I am finished with treatments! And furthermore said that I am, quote, "disease free unless proven otherwise"!!

Like I said, it's been almost two weeks since I heard that and, well, I guess I must still be in denial that I had cervical cancer AT ALL because all I can think is OF COURSE I'M DISEASE FREE!! I mean, I've always been pretty healthy and the only pills I take are vitamins and supplements. This temporary challenge was always just that in my mind -- temporary.

Thankfully, I didn't have to go through this challenge alone. From the very first moment, when I got the diagnosis call back on August 2nd, I already had amazing support. On that day, I just happened to be surrounded by my daughter and two strong friends who all knew just how to keep my spirits up. In fact, one friend poured me a shot of vodka to steady my nerves and toast my upcoming adventure. What an awesome display of denial to start with, right?? 

Well, based on conversation from that hour or so of immediate support, I decided to go public with my challenge throughout my whole ordeal, while at the same time remaining deep in denial of its veracity, of course. Quite the balancing act, I tell you that much.

To be honest, I am so incredibly glad I made that decision! I cannot imagine how much more difficult my ordeal would have been if I hadn't gone public and remained silent. I cannot imagine going through something like this alone, without support. I cannot imagine what kind of dark and despairing place I would be in right now. I cannot imagine how deeply that kind of solitary struggle would have affected my family and me.

Thankfully, I don't have to imagine all that because the results of my public sharing speak for themselves. WE DID IT!! All of your prayers, messages, gifts, visits, comments, calls, donations, hugs, jokes, good juju and so much more helped to cure my illness and made this process so much more than bearable — I’d even call it joyful!

Yes! It's so true that thanks to you, the past few months became a joyful time for me when it might have been the exact opposite. You gave me hope, strength, energy, confidence, laughter and a whole lot of appreciation that I might not have ever felt otherwise.

In fact, I’m sure many of us never get the chance to feel the force of so much collective love and support in such a short time. While I would never wish a challenge like this one on any person ever, I do hope you get a chance to feel the power of love that I have recently felt. 

During this holiday season and well into next year, I wish more than anything that you feel the love and joy of being appreciated by your friends, family, coworkers and strangers. I'm sure there's no reason to get sick to experience this!! Maybe all it takes is taking a moment to recognize the love, savor the moment and store the good feelings in your heart. 

Meanwhile, please know that I truly appreciate you! Thank you so much for reading my stories and connecting with me here and elsewhere. I'm looking forward to giving you even more next year, so stay tuned! May your holidays be merry, bright and filled to the brim with joy, love and appreciation! 

xo Ringleader Pam


If you haven’t had a chance to donate to our fund yet, it’s not too late - please consider helping us reach our goal -- every dollar counts! Here's the link to our page: 

Thank you!!

© 2017 Pamela C Wills, Int’l

Hey there! I'm Ringleader Pam!

It's true that many years have seen many hats on my head, but one thread makes them all part of one unique collection: my passion for story.

More than 25 years of experience in writing and editing, public relations, sales and marketing, social media, networking, teaching, public speaking and yes, even dance and choreography fill this gal's cocktail shaker of a life -- definitely shaken, not stirred -- and give me the ability to serve up exactly what my clients need.

Whether it's written content, sales and PR/marketing help, confidence boosts, a great speech, accountability and mentoring or dance lessons for the movement shy, my glass-overflowing positivity, optimistic attitude and contagious enthusiasm for my clients' successes took many years of many tries and fails to cultivate -- a success story of my own that has thankfully won me thousands of admiring fans! Want more? Download your FREE report at today!

Top Ten Things I've Learned

You guys, you wouldn’t believe how many silver linings to this process of healing I’ve discovered! I’m just amazed every day by the deep things I’m learning and experiencing. So many of you have been so incredibly supportive that I decided to share a few gems:

Top Ten Things I’ve Learned Since Being Diagnosed with Cervical Cancer:

1) Chemo is icky!! There are different kinds of chemo drugs that mess with different things like your taste buds, your stomach, your head, your nerves, your hearing and even your ability to concentrate. Getting it every week intensifies all of that. But the chemo nurses ROCK. We are so lucky to have this level of care right here on Cape.

2) Radiation doesn’t hurt while the laser is pointed at you. It hurts when you try to do otherwise normal things, like digest and eliminate... 😝 It’s also like an instant sleeping spell! Getting radiation every day plus simultaneous weekly chemo is the magic formula for success in my case, and also for lots of sleep and meditation time 😴 BTW the radiation therapists at CCH also rock!!

3) Denial is a most useful tool. 

4) Positivity is even more than useful - it’s essential to healing and thriving. Using denial to stay in a positive mindset will get you through the roughest of patches.

5) Asking questions all the time of everyone who might know the answer is the best way to feel confident about things like treatment protocols, side effects, insurance, etc.

6) Sifting through answers to your questions and weighing their pros and cons to determine your own best course of action is one good way to deal with a challenge like mine. Bouncing ideas off trusted loved ones is even better.

7) Unexpected people will judge you in unexpected ways for the most unexpected things, yes even when you’re down and out. Don’t let them rattle you, because it’s more about them and their own issues than anything else. Focus instead on healing yourself. And on #8.

8) Unexpected people will support you in the most unexpected ways - if you let them. Their caring will lift you out of your darkest moments when you most need the lift.

9) When you manage to get yourself dressed - hair and makeup included - and go out to be among humans, people will be surprised when you don’t look or act like a sick person. With reason, because cancer is a bitch that affects everyone differently. Tip: When they exclaim with confusion how great you look, just tell them it must be thanks to all that extra sleep you’ve been getting (see #2).

10) Asking for help is really really hard. Asking for financial help is really really waaaayy harder, because, well, see #7 and #9. Some people won’t want to understand your reasons for asking. Best to concentrate on the people who do, and be thankful for every little drop in the bucket. 

Here’s the thing: Gratitude is my most invaluable daily go-to mindset, now more than ever. It’s the main thing pulling me through this long dark tunnel. Thanks to all of you who have held bright candles for me in that tunnel and contributed in some way, we’d be lost without you!! If you haven’t yet, it’s not too late - please consider helping us reach our goal by Christmas. Every dollar counts! 

Here's the link to our page:

Please also feel free to share this link!


© 2017 Pamela C Wills, Int’l


Hey there! I'm Ringleader Pam!

It's true that many years have seen many hats on my head, but one thread makes them all part of one unique collection: my passion for story.

More than 25 years of experience in writing and editing, public relations, sales and marketing, social media, networking, teaching, public speaking and yes, even dance and choreography fill this gal's cocktail shaker of a life -- definitely shaken, not stirred -- and give me the ability to serve up exactly what my clients need.

Whether it's written content, sales and PR/marketing help, confidence boosts, a great speech, accountability and mentoring or dance lessons for the movement shy, my glass-overflowing positivity, optimistic attitude and contagious enthusiasm for my clients' successes took many years of many tries and fails to cultivate -- a success story of my own that has thankfully won me thousands of admiring fans! Want more? Download your FREE report at today!

Love is in the Air Again

I don't know about you, but my emotions have been running on HIGH ALERT all week. Whether it's hormonal, political or cosmological, it still has the same effect: STRESS!

According to my supersmart healer pals, the antidote is self love. They say that however we can approach a situation -- any situation -- from a place of love is the way to find peace and healing. This makes a ton of sense to me, so I am practicing a new mantra that goes something like this:

Love instead of fear. Love instead of hate. Love, love, love, love, love.

So far, it's working! Love is in the air!

Do you feel it?

I've been thinking about love lately... a lot. It's February! The month of love... And you know what they say about love... Love is in the air. Love is the question and the answer. Love me or leave me. Love is all you need. All you need is love. Love isn't love until you give it away. Love thy neighbor. Love is a battlefield. Love and money. For the love of God. Love is a many splendored thing. Love has many faces. Love has no limits. Love will find a way. Love your Self!

Well, as you can see, I've been counting the ways. =)

This month, by right of Saint Valentine is dedicated to the most complex, famous, wonderfully exciting emotion, both noun and verb in one. Get comfy, take a seat because I'm here to help you start unraveling this puzzle this month. Today, it's all about the questions...

Read more here...

BTW, if you want more love and attention for your career, you really oughtta check my community of artists, for artists -- The Guild, espesh if you've been dying to connect with other like-minded performers for encouragement and accountability, The Guild is THE place for you! Furthermore, if you want more attention for your work, more confidence both onstage and offstage, and more ways to level up your performance career, The Guild is the place for you.

The Guild's membership perks are packed with bonuses like a private access group, publicity in front of my 22k+ network of followers, exclusive trainings and tips, monthly group mastermind calls with me and more -- all for less than the price of your gym membership.

After all, do you really want to languish in the back row when you could be center stage??


Questions? I'd love to feature them (of course anonymously, if you prefer) on my Ask Ringleader Pam page -- just hit reply and ask away!


© 2017 Pamela C Wills, Int’l


Hey there! I'm Pamela C Wills, Ringleader of The Creative Revolution

I'm an award-winning Choreographer and published Author with a passion for business -- YOUR business. I teach up-and-coming performing Artists just like you how to successfully embrace your inner BADASS with confidence, navigate opportunity with ease and take your talents to the next levelMy popular programs and services help my clients level up and make ginormous leaps with the creative passions that they just can't live without.

Want to start leveling up?
 Don’t just dabble, download your FREE report at and start calling YOUR shots today!

8 Ways to Stay Strong (when the going gets rough)

How do you stay strong in the face of upheaval?
Challenges definitely come and go. We can shuffle along and complain about all the shit happening. Or, we can build our emotional teflon. That's what I call a thick skin -- teflon coating.

Even when the going gets REALLY rough, a teflon coating that keeps negativity away and keeps your mind strong and healthy is going to help you push through all the hills and valleys, no matter what challenges you encounter, even when you think you just can't push one more step.

Just like you need to work at the stamina to get through those long rehearsals, those sweaty latenight gigs, those wee hours at the keyboard or canvas -- you also need to develop your mental strength over time. But if you choose to improve yourself and grow your skills emotionally, I promise, you will notice the rewards.

A few intro tips:

  • Avoid things that could hold you back, like negative situations/friends
  • Create healthy habits that help you grow stronger, like good nutrition and sleep patterns
  • Visualize your best life on the daily, either in your mind's eye or with assistance like Pinterest or journaling

Okay! Now for the big list -- here are my top 8 ways to stay strong every single day -- even when the going gets rough:

1. Use Your Thinking Energy Wisely

It’s easy to get distracted during the day by all kinds of unimportant and unproductive crap. Choose to use your time and energy carefully. Devote your efforts to the things that matter most so you can get the most shit done.

2. Rethink Your Negative Thoughts

Everyone has negative thoughts sometimes. The trick is not to let them go wild, hold you back or drag you down. Instead, respond to that triangle of fear, doubt and worry with a more positive inner dialogue. Stay motivated to succeed by talking to yourself like a trusted friend or a helpful coach. It works!

3. Work Towards Your Goals

Lay out clear personal and professional goals that give you a purpose in life. Forget about instant gratification! Keep your long-term goals in mind and view obstacles as challenges, rather than roadblocks to success.

4. Check Your Progress

Reflect on progress toward your goals on the daily -- setting aside time to examine what's going well, humbly acknowledging areas that need improvement, holding yourself accountable for mistakes and constantly striving to move forward.

5. Deal with Discomfort

While most people will avoid stress at all costs, others endure pain simply to prove they’re tough. Your strength really shows, however, if you deal with discomfort when it serves a greater purpose. Whether you’re exercising even when you feel tired, or delivering a speech when you feel terrified, you're using your pain in order to grow.

6. Practice Gratitude

You can’t be at your best if you’re insisting you deserve better. Acknowledge that you already have everything you need. Recognize your good fortune and express gratitude for everything in your life.

7. Balance Emotion with Logic

Understand that your feelings play a major role in your perceptions and behavior. Pay close attention to how emotions influence your judgement. Be sure to balance your emotions with logic so you can make the best possible choices.

8. Live by Your Values

Maybe it's tempting to measure yourself against the competition, but don’t fall for those distractions. Focus on living according to your values and doing your best, despite the circumstances. At the end of the day, don’t ask whether you beat everyone else -- ask whether you stayed true to YOU.

Live by these tips and you'll be mastering your challenges in no time!

Let's talk about YOUR strengths in the face of challenges. Need some support? Click the black button below so we can find a time to chat!


© 2016 Pamela C Wills, Int’l

Revolution Ringleader Pamela C Wills is a choreographer and writer with a passion for business who teaches multitalented creatives how to turn their talents into cash. Her Get Your Big Break! program dives into three strategies to level up your creative success. Want to make money in the arts? Don’t just dabble in your art, download your FREE report, "Turn Your Talents into Cash: 10 Simple Steps" at and start calling YOUR shots today!

8 Ways to UNFunkify Yourself

True confession: I've been napping a lot lately. Like, a LOT. I am so very glad that February is finally OVER. Thinking I might come out of my deep dark winter funk of hibernation tomorrow. That is, IF it doesn't snow again...

Yeah, this month has not been my fave. February rarely is. My birthday, the 19th has always fallen in the middle of school vacation and, as my Mother loves to remind me each year, it usually involves SNOW. My 9th birthday party was cancelled due to a snowstorm. As usual, on that sad day I sought refuge in my closet, my preferred crying space. Then I got all dressed up and blew out my candles and ate birthday cake anyway.

Here's the thing: I can weather any storm if I just have a chance to retreat, lick my wounds and pull myself together. When we take the time to value and take care of ourselves, we can get over the bumps and get back to being fabulous that much faster. Do it without making excuses or giving in to guilt about your needs will DEFinitely take the edge off any funk that winter or other irritating circumstances might throw you into.

Following is my short list of ways to climb out of that funk, with a heaping dose of self love:

1. Practice pleasure rituals.

Feeling good is as important as looking good. Long baths, facials, massages, any type of treatment for the body are not luxuries, they're essentials — no matter how busy your life is. My fave birthday present to myself? A 90 minute hot stone massage. That was the first step out of my deep dark winter funk last week!

2. Use the Feel Good measuring stick.

The “no pain, no gain” school of thought never works for me. I operate according to the pleasure principle: If I'm doing something that makes me feel and look great (yoga, napping), there will be a positive effect on my overall well-being. Disclaimer: This does not imply overindulgence. Overindulgence never feels good. Think hangover. Blech.

3. Accept your current circumstances.

Happiness does not come from success. Success follows happiness. Practice acceptance of your current life with gratitude. Say thank you all the time. Be thankful for your ability to walk, talk, eat, laugh, pay bills, use a computer, drive a car... By most of the world's standards, if you're reading this, you are wealthier than something like 80% of the 6+ billion people on Earth. That's pretty rad.

4. Enjoy great food.

Great food is fundamental to enjoying life, so why deprive yourself? When you're feeling blue, enjoy a little of everything you love. No one needs to eat bread, cheese and dessert every day. Overeating only leads to negative feelings. Love chocolate? Have some! I'm not saying go ahead and gorge on ice cream and chips every night. I'm saying lighten up, already. If you're fighting to stay sane and positive through a few days or weeks of crankiness, it's okay to give yourself a little wiggle room.

5. Feel good AND look good.

I know you might be feeling like a stale piece of pigeon poo but please, don’t go out looking like an unmade bed. Even if you're in a hurry, get dressed, brush your hair, put on some lipgloss and maybe a pair of earrings. Feeling good is also about looking good, and looking good shows respect for yourself.

6. Be real about your feelings.

If you are feeling cranky, don't try to hide it! Be up front with yourself and your loved ones. Ask for some alone time to just be cranky.

Here's what I do when I'm feeling like Miss Whiny Bitchy Crankypants: Hold up my hand when someone tries to talk to me. Hang my Do Not Disturb sign on my door. Let phone calls go straight to voice mail. Return emails only after I'm feeling better. Otherwise, if I try to interact when I'm a crank, things never go well! It's always better to wait it out.

7. Hug and be hugged!

We all need human touch to survive and thrive. Don't just say hi to friends and family! Forget about firm grip handshakes! Move in for the bear hug!! Give hugs freely. Ask for hugs. Welcome hugs. Hugs ROCK.

Best Kept Secret: Hugging for 20 seconds or more boosts your immune system and your happiness factor. I practice the 20 second hug with my yoga instructor, Michelle whenever I see her! Gives me an awesometastic moto push to get to yoga class, too. ;)

8. Get out and have some fun!

For my birthday, not only did I get myself an amazing hot stone massage, but I also decided to skip the birthday cake and go out with friends for some live music instead. Open Mic Night at the Harvest Wine Gallery in Dennis Village was a blast! Thanks Kelli, Ruth, Tad, Stacy, Amy, Maria, Holly, Anthony, Kami and Joey for being there, I had so much fun!

The next day, I took my Sunshine Girl daughter out for a fancy dinner and a show. Then the day after that, I took myself shopping! Finally got my new iPhone, yay! Happy Birthday to ME. You know how it is, a little retail therapy goes a LONG way.

There you have it, my short list of ways to UnFunkify your winter self. Go have yourself some fun. Then come back and tell me all about it. Make me jelly!!!



© 2014 Pamela Wills Coaching, Int’l


Speak with Confidence Coach Pamela Wills teaches business women around the globe how to Turn on the Charm, Fight the Fright!TM and overcome fear of public speaking to grow success and positive impact. Get her FREE audio badass teleclass, “Ten Ways to Spice Up Your Branding, Boldness & Bank Account” at

8 Ways to Be Generous with Your Self

Okay, let's get real here, peeps. I don't know about you, but these last couple of weeks have been totally rough for me. I mean, really, how many times can my feet spaz out with cramps while I'm trying to balance in half moon? How little sleep can I actually function on? How much caffeine can I get away with ingesting without completely ruining my nervous system?... Seriously, I did not even notice how absolutely wrung out I was until Wednesday. Suddenly, it was like I'd walked smack into a sliding glass door, heading for the sunny deck where the happening party was happening, but SMACK! I found my face squashed up against an invisible barrier, smarting from both the impact and my obliviousness.

Suddenly, it became hideodiously clear that my brain is totally battered and fried. My body is screaming for at least one 90 minute hot stone massage and a loooong winter's nap. My motivation is lagging behind my To-Do List (with a capital T) like a toddler about to throw a giNORmous hissy fit. What's a working mom to do??

The ugly symptoms of my wrung-outedness only became apparent at the end of a day when I almost passed out and/or bawled my eyes out during yoga class (while every inch of me screamed NO! I'm NOT doing that! for 60 excruciatingly long minutes); when I wrote and shared a press release for my business that was soooo skewed and off the mark but thought it was great simply because it was D.O.N.E.; and snapped at all my loved ones, displaying about as much patience as the above-mentioned toddler getting ready to pitch that epic hissy fit.

THEN, I actually attempted to record a video blog.

*Insert laugh track here*


After my third attempt and various lighting shenanigans, I decided to switch to wrapping presents.

*Laugh track*

That went well. Until I fell asleep. But I only had like ten minutes before I had to jump in my car and be at the next thing! Jeez.

Suddenly, it hit me like a Visine wash to my Third Eye. I suddenly realized that my entire Self was running on nothing but caffeine fumes and the need to check off my list.

What is going on here?? I mean, I'm supposed to get this, right? I'm supposed know how to love and nurture my Self, right??

Since I've learned how to better manage stress, avoid drama, plan my time and increase my productivity over the last few years, I didn't think this could still happen to me!!! No, not to me. =/

*Blink blink* *Deer in the headlights*

Looks like I was wrong there.

Well, guess what, it really does happen to all of us. Sure, planning helps. Saying no, prioritizing ~ supertastically important. Letting go of some less important things helps create some downtime in our hectic schedules. Letting go of the guilt over letting those things go? PRICELESS.

At this time of year, with so much going on, so many expectations and so much to do, the need to slow down and just breathe becomes even MORE important. So I'm taking this opportunity to just STOP. I know I need to be more generous with my Self ASAP. Thankfully, I've made yoga a part of my life, otherwise I'm certain I would be a total basket case!

Here are eight ideas I'm giving my Self (and you!) to help keep me sane through this crazybusy season:

1) Regular exercise ~ My choice is yoga for the unbeatable combo of strength, flexibility, balance, meditation and even cardio training it gives me.

2) Drink decaf (mostly) ~ Caffeine dehydrates and dehydration drags a girl down. Switch to decaf or at least half caf. Add ginseng capsules or extra B12 tabs if you're still lagging and dragging with no nap in sight.

3) Take naps! ~ Even a 10 minute nap at your desk helps to revive and refresh. Can't say enough about the nap thing.

4) Drink extra water ~ Hydrate like a mermaid to avoid headaches, nausea, hunger pangs and lots of other ickiness.

5) Pare down that To-Do List ~ Don't try to do everything right now, save some of it for... later. It's really okay to say no to some events, requests and people. It might even give you the chance to take a nap. =)

6) Switch to eCards ~ Send digital, electronic, email cards instead of the paper kind. There are so many advantages! No need for postage. No need for expensive cards. No need to use more paper and ink. Send to BCCs and write JUST ONE CARD. Okay, maybe two if you're sending to business and personal. But still, think of the time you'll save! And all the people you can reach! AND, you can squeeze it in anytime without worrying about whether the post will reach all those people in time. (BTW, I love JibJab for their fun free animated cards.)

7) Keep your food as clean as possible ~ Cut out dairy, wheat/gluten and sugar whenever possible. I've cut out dairy completely, the others mostly and I feel miles better. I have much more focus and clarity, less lethargy, fewer aches and pains. Try it for two weeks and see how you feel. Your waistline will thank you, too. ;)

8) Give your Self a break ~ Don't be so hard on your Self. Ditch the unattainable ideal of perfection. There is no need for perfect and really, no such thing. Do what you can and be thankful for what you've got.

Here's my plan: More naps, send eCards, less caffeine and more water, especially through these next few days. I accept that I am not perfect. I am generously accepting who I am, where I am, right now, with lots of love.

Won't you join me? <3

Creating Connections

For the whole month of September, we have been talking about creativity and dreams for speaking and success. Those things that fuel the imagination and keep us motivated. The means and the results. Now that we're approaching the end of September AND the end of 2013 is less than 100 days away, I am feeling like I don't want to waste any time! Like I really want to zoom in on the important stuff. Especially in light of my partner's challenging current family situation. I want to focus on family, on love, on people, on connections.

Connections, the ties that bind, the glue -- that's the stuff that keeps us going and coming back for more. Take me, for example. Why do I do what I do, working around the clock to help people overcome their fears? Because I love my daughter. That's right. My daughter is my A#1 reason for everything that I do. If it weren't for her existence, I would have curled up into a ball in the corner a long time ago and just given up. True story.

But because of that connection, that responsibility, that LOVE, I have a need and a desire to create and succeed. I want to provide for her and set an example for her. That connection totally rocket fuels me. Every single day.

Part of what I do to meet those goals is make more connections with lots more people. (I think they call that networking, lol...) For the past several years since I moved back to the USA from Germany, I have slowly cultivated a tribe of mostly like-minded people around me. From close friends and immediate family, to friends and relatives, to acquaintances and colleagues, to virtual associates and local people I know by sight. These all constitute my collection of connections. I have cultivated them both online and offline because that is how I organize my business and my life.

Creating and cultivating connections keeps us focused on what's really important in life: People. Without people in our life, we are, well, alone. People make life worth living. Being alone is no good for our business life nor our social life!

There is nothing on this Earth quite like the satisfaction I feel when I know I've hit the sweet spot with a connection. Like today. Today, I spent two glorious hours on the phone ***in my PJs*** with my joint venture partner, Angel Quintana, brainstorming on a super juicy cool project we are creating together, launching in early 2014. It was magical! And get this: We have never even met in person. Yet! We have only ever seen each other on Skype, maybe once. The rest has been telephone talk and Facebook messaging. Do we care?? Not one bit. We've created a connection between us that sparks our imaginations and works for us both.


Or like last week, when I met a whole bunch of my boyfriend Marc's family members for the very first time, in a very sad situation during funeral services for his only brother. Over twenty years ago, his late brother had a daughter but due to a series of unfortunate circumstances, she had no connection with his side of the family until last week. Since then, we are now in close touch with Marc's niece, a new and very special connection. I also found new connections with two of Marc's oldest friends as well as his mother and her longtime partner. Creating connections throughout the week gave this difficult, emotional time a much appreciated, bright silver lining.

How can you create more connections in your life or for your business? Do you practice networking? Do you belong to a group that does stuff that you like doing? Do you regularly keep in touch with your connections via telephone, Skype, email or snail mail? Is there a connection you would like to rekindle?

Don't wait. Reach out.

Playlist Reboot

Since it's the last week of my April "Be Your Self" theme, I decided to share my updated playlist of fave inspirational, motivational, get-up-and-go tunes (in no particular order). I’ve linked the song titles to corresponding YouTube videos (not all of them are official music videos by the artists, but the tunes are there and sometimes the lyrics are, too). Lyrics are worth looking up for great inspirational quotes, just Google them. be your Self

1) Reach, Gloria Estefan Motivational fodder for pushing beyond the limits, this was an official theme song for the 2008 Summer Olympics

2) Try to Fly, Eva Great tune from a super talented songwriter and great friend of mine who creates her magic in Germany

3) Polka Dots, Kami Lyle I am so lucky to count as friends not one but TWO super talented singer/songwriters! Kami spins her magic right here on Cape Cod

4) Free and Right to Be Wrong, Joss Stone This hippie chick knows the real deal and how to express it with her crazy hot soul music

5) Brave, Jennifer Lopez I don’t think this song is well known but it really hits the spot

6) Respect and Think, Aretha Franklin Enough said

7) Free Xone and What Have You Done for Me Lately, Janet Jackson Love the dancing in the “Free Xone” video… “Love your Self” is a great line!… And let’s not forget the quintessential, classic Janet song

8) Just Fine, Mary J. Blige THE way to rock the joy of being YOU, this song is my newest anthem!!!

9) Express Yourself, Madonna “Don’t go for second best, baby”… Words to live by


10) Strength, Courage & Wisdom, India.Arie Just the tip of the iceberg from this singer and her incredibly deep soul

11) King of Anything, Sara Bareilles “Who cares if you disagree?  You are NOT me!”… This song is everyone’s theme song who decides to stop putting up

12) Born This Way, Lady Gaga Cannot make a list like this without this tune!

13) I’m A Survivor, Destiny’s Child Beyonce's antidote to hater poison

14) Shine, Estelle All about being her Self, this woman knows exactly who she is

15) Brand New Day, Sting Wait for Stevie Wonder to come and play his harmonica around minute three

16) Hope, Shaggy “Never give up”… Super cool and inspiring tune by the man him Self

17) The Climb, Miley Cyrus I know, I know, what am I doing putting a kids’ song on this list??… Just listen, it’s really a great tune about pushing through

18) When You Believe, performed by the late Whitney Houston and Maria Carey (from Disney’s The Prince of Egypt) Inspirational at its best, sung by two powerful divas

19) Girl On Fire, Alicia Keys ft. Nicki Minaj Caution, super hot video! Lots of fun, too

20) Fighter, Soar and Beautiful, Christina Aguilera Fabulous tunes, all of them!

Thanks for listening with me!  I hope this list:

1) made you smile 2) made you DANCE!!! 3) made you want to forward this to a friend. Why keep a good thing to your Self??

Have a great weekend!