6 Reasons to Stop Trash Talking Your Money

Hey there, Artist!

Recently, while chatting with a new acquaintance I realized that I hear the same thing over and over again from so many seriously creative, seriously multi-talented Artists -- they are constantly trash talking MONEY! Trashing people who make a lot of money, bashing people who spend a lot of money on art / theatre / designer goods, hating on the people who employ them in side jobs (and pay them money), etc. etc. etc. It's a steady stream of complaints.

I get sooo frustrated because money is not just about BANK -- it's about how you show up in the world and what you communicate about yourself to the people you meet. True story!

Truly, I hear far too many stories, excuses and past-the-expiration-date beliefs that lead amazing Artists with fabulous talent to cave in and hide out instead of allowing themselves to be the incredible creative entrepreneurs they are truly meant to be.

Listen: Allowing your craptalk about money to rule your daily life and how you live it can seriously hold you back and keep you from succeeding BIG TIME.

And I am sooo serious when I tell you that is the LAST thing I want for you! What I really want is for you to STOP the trash talk and START standing up for your inner Artist, so you can attract fans and everything else you want in your life and creative business.

How do you do that? You have to start at the start. As your Ringleader and business coach, I'm here to point out SIX ways that your last century starving artist mentality could be holding you back -- not just in your art and business but also in other parts of your life:

1) You mope around a lot and complain about how there's no money in show business / music business / art world / fashion design (fill in the blank here!). You accept the mantle of the Victim and bend anyone's ear who's willing to lend it about OH WOE IS ME.

***Ugh that attitude holds you back in so many ways! Drop the victim mentality and start filling your head with positive motivational thoughts. It will make a world of difference!

2) You cower behind your computer instead of using it to network on social media, on blogs, or on your own website (you DO have a website, don't you?...) You also avoid showing up at networking events in your community because you've decided that only corporate people -- you know, those sell outs to "The Man" -- do that sort of thing. Artists don't do that. Artists make art.

***Sigh I'm sorry but this is the biggest cop-out ever. Quit playing the Invisible Artist! Get out there and start sharing your talents with the world! That is the ONLY way they will learn about you and your amazing work.

3) You know damn well that you're a unique, multi-talented, amazing Artist. But you don't feel comfortable selling those talents because it feels like boasting and you were taught that bragging is wrong, that you'll repel people if you do it. So you don't really do any selling. So... you don't really sell anything. Zip. Zero. Nada.

***Yeah, see #2. Then just get out there and BE YOURSELF! If you are excited about your work, about getting attention for your work, then just talk about how excited you are! I do it all the time. If you're authentically excited, your excitement will be contagious. BOOM you're sharing and selling and people are buying. You're welcome.

4) You see your exit coming up on the Highway of Life and you know it's NOT the right moment and it's definitely NOT the right exit! It's too soon because you haven't really gone after your really big dreams and hit the big time. You hate to think it's too late, but you feel paralyzed and without a clue how to change course.

***EEEEKKK PULL OVER!!! No joke. Take the detour! Explore, adventure, play and imagine how your journey can be different from here on out. Then just go do it!!

5) You hate making decisions. You hate change. You hate trying new things. You hate how the world is changing so fast. You hate the fact that all the real news happens online. You hate the whole IDEA of online. Newsflash: All that hate is ossifying your brain and fossilizing your heart. I'm just guessing, but you're probably feeling cranky and bitchy pretty often, or maybe you're overindulging in sugar, alcohol or other crutches in order to numb yourself and avoid the real issues.

***Enough with the hate! See #1. Then just force yourself to try something new every day, every week, every month. Never tried raw oysters? They are DELISH! Never learned how to hulahoop? I know a gal who can teach you, shoot me a message! Always wanted to play guitar? Find yourself a teacher and second hand instrument and you're off! Trying new things regularly will work that change muscle and keep it limber and strong -- super important for any creative success story.

6) When you look in the mirror, you have zero idea who you're looking at. After all these years, you still don't know who the hell you are or what you really want to do. You've buried your dreams and passions so deep inside you, sacrificed it all in order to make a living and make ends meet. Now, you're almost a stranger to yourself. And at this point, you worry that it might be too late.

***WRONG! It's never too late! Seriously, I can come up with at least ten stories about late bloomer success stories, including my Dad, who became a lawyer at age 69!

Here are a few more: Vincent van Gogh, Claude Monet, Paul Cezanne, George Eliot, Mark Twain, Leonard Cohen, Terry Gilliam, Robert Frost, Marina Abramovic, Lucinda Williams, Morgan Freeman, Edward Hopper, Thelonius Monk, Toni Morrison, Kathryn Bigelow, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Maya Angelou, Lucille Ball, Alan Rickman and get this, Dr. Seuss! Stop fretting and just do it.

Tell me, how many of these six signs are true for you? If you identify with even one of these, then you have some work to do, my friend. It's time to put your grownup Artist's shoes on and start sharing your gifts with the rest of the world. Amiright??

Let me ask you this: 
If today were the first day of the rest of your life (yep), what ONE THING would you do TODAY to stop your trash talk, start pulling away from all this gunky negativity and finally start showing up as the awesome Artist you know you really are?? Hit reply and tell me all about it!

Are you feeling in your bones that this is the moment for you to change course? Do you want this year to finally be the year that you turn it all around and start becoming the Artist you know you are truly meant to be?

If that sounds like you, then let's talk! Luckily for you, I'm currently offering my VIP training course, The Modern Business Plan for Success in the Arts at a fabulously affordable price (there's even a payment plan option) -- but I only have three spots left!

After those three spots are filled, the price will increase significantly, so be sure to schedule a call even if you're just feeling curious and have a few questions. I can't wait to chat with you!


© 2016 Pamela C Wills, Int’l

Revolution Ringleader Pamela C Wills is a choreographer and writer with a passion for business who teaches multitalented creatives how to turn their talents into cash. Her Get Your Big Break! program dives into three strategies to level up your creative success. Want to make money in the arts? Don’t just dabble in your art, download your FREE report, "Turn Your Talents into Cash: 10 Simple Steps" at www.PamelaCWills.com and start calling YOUR shots today!

Are You Planning to Succeed?

How are your plans for 2016 coming along so far? Have you reviewed your goals and objectives for Q1 yet? If not, this would be a great time to get on that, as the end of Q1 is happening in just a few days...

Here's how I do my own review: 

1) I look back on all the positive forward motion and action steps taken since January 1st and list them as bullet points in an Evernote file entitled, Q1 2016 WINS. Here are a few of my highlights:

  • Accepted an offer to direct and choreograph Ring of Fire at Cape Cod Theatre Company, hired cast/crew and started rehearsals for our May 12th opening
  • Wrapped up and received my commission on a long term sponsorship deal
  • Attended every session of my leadership class (we're halfway thru) and made tons of new connections so far
  • Scored seven amazing speakers for HobNob Artists Networking events (so far) plus my first facilitator for a new HobNob Biz Secrets workshop series
  • Completed Module 1 in the Holistic Fashionista Academy sales class I'm taking (it's awesome!) and created a super successful survey (you can take it here)
  • Did a radio interview on financial expert, Chris Boyd's Something More show (WXTK); a Blab podcast with Brand Strategist, Heather Poduska; and my leadership Academy seminar on Zoom for Angel Quintana, CEO of Holistic Fashionista
  • Booked a guest appearance on Mindy Todd's popular morning radio show,The Point on March 30th (NPR/WCAI), and on Pandora Peoples' Healing Wisdom show on April 27th (WOMR)
  • Booked a speaking gig for the Art Educators Association meeting at the Cape Cod Museum on April 28th
  • Rehearsed choreography for another sold out production of Cotuit on the Road / Brave Horse Music's hit show, What the World Needs Now at the Dan'l Webster Inn on 3/25 (tonight!)
  • Taught two sessions of dance classes at Cotuit Center for the Arts and booked my class to perform at the Cape Cod Makers Fair in Mashpee on April 30th
  • Booked a gig instructing business courses for post-traditional learners at Bridgewater State University starting in May (stay tuned!)
  • Booked a gig teaching dance classes for Cape Cod Child Development in August 
  • Attended Cape & Plymouth Business magazine's first Digital Marketing Summit, wow, that was fabulous! Learned a ton and made a bunch of new connections in just one day!

Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good about Q1 2016 -- that's just the short list! Feeling like I'm on track for more wins in Q2.

Now it's time to talk about your Q2! What's your plan? You know, your P-L-A-N. Do you have one?

No, I'm not talking about what time you arrive at work or where you have to drive which kid to which practice after school. I'm talking about the plan to move you forward this year. The big picture. The moving parts and tiny baby steps that will take you outside of your comfort zone. Yeah, that plan.

If you do have one, yippee! You are on track to reaching your goals and succeeding at what you want to achieve. If you don't have one, it's time. Don't you think it's time?

Need some simple solutions? Here's what I do:

1) Use Evernote
Have I mentioned that I LOVE Evernote?? It's an app I use all the time. I have about a gajillion different notebooks in my Evernote. I use Evernote to dictate my writing, on my phone, in my car, while driving. Makes me feel like Jane Jetson. I LOVE it. You can also use Evernote to write down goals that you can look at anytime you pick up your phone. If you're anything like me, you pick up your phone about a gajillion times a day. So make a goals notebook, and start writing.

2) Try the Experts' secret
Write your goals as if they are happening right now. Don't say, I wish I had a million dollars. Say, I am soooo happy and grateful that I have a million dollars! Why am I so blessed to have so much money all the time? It is so wonderful that I always have plenty of money to take care of my bills, my family and all the other things I want to do, have, buy and give. See the difference? Feel the difference.

3) Find a calendar and use it
Try Google calendar, iCalendar or for an inexpensive printed version, go to www.printfree.com, choose a template, then print out all 12 months. That way, you won't have to remember to go back and do this each and every month. Done.

4) Dig out some colored pencils, assign categories and get started
If you're plotting your business plan, maybe you want to fill in marketing, networking, sales, admin, social media, customer service and other events. Don't forget your content plan! And don't EVER forget to block out VACATION time!! It is totally up to you, this plan and its deets. Trust me though, use different colors for each category.

5) Pick different days and/or times for each category
This has to depend on your existing schedule. Try to group similar activities together on the same day/time as much as possible to save you time.

6) Read your goals and review your plan daily or at least weekly
Keep your eyes on the prize. This step is key for motivation. We all need fresh motivation every day, just like we need food for fuel.

Planning is easy, right? Right! You can totally do this.


Did you miss my live seminar on leadership that I did for the Holistic Fashionista Academy last week?

No worries, you can purchase the recordings for a song, and if you want to get in on all the rest of the juicy expert seminars happening this month, just follow this link and sign up for FREE! 

Here's what Holistic Fashionista's CEO, Angel Quintana has to say about these seminars:

"Our Academy Seminar Instructors share what’s REALLY worked in their business…

Each instructor has a very different kind of business. From teaching CPR to being a stylist or selling a physical product or retreats, they each share one common theme:

What has worked for them in their business is drastically different than the other! So what does that really mean?

It means that NO two businesses are alike and a marketing strategy that works for one, may not necessarily work for another.

So instead of coercing you into drinking the Kool-Aid, we’d much rather serve you green juice.

So what do I mean by Kool-Aid anyway?

Kool-aid is over-hyped marketing strategies that promise you HUGE, unrealistic results in seconds.

In the internet marketing world, there are A LOT of people teaching “fluffy” stuff. They might give you 1 tool or 1 strategy on how to get ahead in your business, but you never get the whole story. That’s why we prefer Green Juice!

We like our marketing strategies to align with our brands and that means what works for one person won’t necessarily work for you.

What makes the Holistic Fashionista Academy Seminars event different?

• I PERSONALLY vouch for these individuals because I have worked with each of them to grow and expand their business. And most importantly, they are the REAL DEAL.

• I asked them to teach something that has made ALL the difference in growing their business (translation: they wouldn’t be where they are today without it)

 This is a live seminar and when I say live I mean you will see our faces LIVE, in the flesh. (No editing. Just raw fuel for your business!)

• They are genuine. It’s hard to find out there when every five seconds someone is promoting how to build a 6-figure business in 5 minutes using Facebook ads and they literally have 30 likes on their page.

I don’t know about you, but here at Holistic Fashionista we are SICK and TIRED of the watered down mumbo jumbo that tastes like a sugary BS internet marketing scam.

Because after all, if it looks too good to be true, it probably is. Live and learn.

So, get ready for an event that is jam-packed with holistic business advice from an array of niche marketers who are here to show you, there is NO one way to build your business fast. There are LOTS of ways and we are going to talk about 10 of them during this event!

Do me one quick favor and share this event with someone you think is awesome! I’ve built my tribe of rad people because rad people attract rad people."

© 2016 Pamela C Wills, Int’l

Revolution Ringleader Pamela C Wills is a choreographer and writer with a passion for business who teaches multitalented creatives how to turn their talents into cash. Her Get Your Big Break! program dives into three strategies to level up your creative success. Want to make money in the arts? Don’t just dabble in your art, download your FREE report, "Turn Your Talents into Cash: 10 Simple Steps" at www.PamelaCWills.com and start calling YOUR shots today!

Shake It Up


Here are a few ideas to help move and shake you out of that comfortably numb state we all slide into now and then… Try a few!

1) Get up on the opposite side of the bed

2) Brush your teeth with the other hand


3) Wear a different color than you usually do (shirt, earrings, lipstick, socks, even pj’s!)

4) Take a different route to work

5) Try a bite of something you’ve never eaten before


6) Look up a new word in the dictionary and use it in conversation as often as possible during the day

7) Have a salad for dinner if you normally eat meat and potatoes

8) Read instead of watching TV

9) Take a walk or do some other physical activity for 20 to 30 minutes WITHOUT music or TV or reading materials to distract you — give your mind some space to just BE

10) Call a friend — don’t use email or Facebook, call!


Do at least three of these things TODAY and see how you feel… pay attention, you might just come up with your next big idea. =)



1) Write a poem

2) Move your furniture around

3) Create a mind map (a free-form diagram) of something that’s on your mind or a project you want to complete

Good luck and have fun!

Comfort Equals Death

Are you feeling a little too comfortable lately? Like you never want to leave your boring old, painful old, draining old comfort zone?

Well, that is all well and good if you are all set with your job. Your relationship. Your home. Your education. You KNOW what I'm talking about.

However, if you are thinking about using your creative juice, making plans, setting goals and otherwise getting out there and on the move, you know that comfort equals death. As in comfortably numb (thank you, Pink Floyd…). If this sounds like you, then it is time to get up off of that overstuffed sofa and out onto the open road.  Get ready peeps, we are leaving the comfort zone now...

#1 - Decide No worries, this first step may still be completed from the comfort of your sofa. Just don’t take all year already! Give yourself a deadline to consider your options. What happens if your plan works? What happens if it doesn’t work? Is this the right step, in the right direction? Decide.

#2 - Get tougher Trust me, what makes you tougher won’t kill you. (Um, if you choose to leave the C-zone for something that could actually kill you, well, that’s another area altogether, one that I am not trained to help with. We are NOT talking about dangerous, life-threatening actions here!) Really — doing something different or differently will not end the world. Just enjoy the ride.

#3 - Dig deep What will you miss out on or give up if you continue to just sit there on your comfy sofa for all eternity?? Might you bore yourself to tears? Miss out on a chance to take the spotlight? Never experience love again? Think about it. Is remaining in the C-zone really all that great in comparison?

#4 - Put your Self first As women, we hear this all the time. We know it makes sense. But do we really take this advice to heart? It is NOT selfish to take care of your Self, get enough rest, exercise and good nutrition. It does NOT make you a Bad Mommy if you go out with the girls one night a month, or have a date with your partner once a week. It does NOT make you a bad person if you say no to the fifth or sixth or seventeenth person requesting your precious volunteer time. There is only so much of you to go around! When you put your Self first, you start to hear your own voice. Not your mother's voice. Not your partner's voice. Just yours. What are you saying? What do you REALLY want??


#5 - Take baby steps No need to take extra giant leaps here, not if you are out of practice and not if you are looking to make small changes. Decide on tiny increments and make your road a gentle path rather than a speeding rollercoaster. It’s okay. We can't all be Lady Gaga.

#6 - No excuses You heard me.

#7 - Do something Anything! Anything related to whatever it is you are shaking up. Want to go back to school to be a nurse? Contact some local schools and request info packets. Want to renovate your bathroom? Get thee to the hardware store and pick up some paint samples! Want to change your career, or maybe the world? Get online and start digging for possibilities. See what happens!

Ready to get up off that comfy sofa now? Give me a call, I can help you get started!

Stop Talking and Start Walking

You KNOW you have to get unstuck, allow your Self to grow, push through the icky stuff and just get moving. But the $64,000 question is always, HOW?? I know, right??

Well, guess what peeps, I am here to tell you to just DO it already!

You heard me. It’s time to stop talking and start walking. Here are six steps to help with the HOW part:

1) What is it? If you’re stuck, something heavy must have wrapped a chain around you. What’s making you feel immobile? Why haven’t you taken action? Are you afraid of something? What is keeping you from taking that first step forward? Figuring out what it is will make the next step easier.

2) Is it good for you? Once you figure out what's holding you back, ask your Self whether that thing is really doing you any good. For example, if you want to quit smoking so you can run a marathon (because running a marathon is on your Bucket List) but can't seem to do it, ask your Self whether smoking that cigarette (or cigar…) really helps you to reach that goal. Your answer will help you move on to the next step.

3) Make a decision Once you have the answer to #2, it is time to make a decision. You can do this! Give up that old habit that no longer serves you OR your goal. Then forget about it and focus on something else. Drink water. Take a walk. Chew gum. Take a bath. Chop wood! Whatever — the important thing is to replace the old not so good anymore thing with a new improved exciting helpful thing. Once you cross that bridge, making the leap to #4 will seem easier.

4) Focus on new stuff Start focusing on what you want, what’s important and what can make your life better. Want to run a marathon? Well, if you’ve passed GO on #3 and let go of the smoking habit to focus on… hmmm… maybe gum chewing? Then you’re probably ready to start training for that marathon. Focus on training for that marathon. Put all of your extra energy into training for that marathon. Start walking your talk!

5) Create an action plan Dust off your New Year's resolutions and come up with a plan of action to achieve the best version of you. Sticking with the Bucket List marathon example, you need a training plan. Go! Get yourself a plan, a trainer, a coach to help you become a marathon runner. Pick a date. Pick a marathon. Start today! Then move on to Step #6.

6) Live in the now We hear this all the time, but practicing it for real takes some real effort. Don’t let those negative chatterboxes in your head derail your efforts. Whenever you feel yourself scrambling out on a limb with an anxiety producing line of thought, clamp down on your attention and bring it back to whatever task is at hand. So what if you don’t run 26 miles the first day you train for that marathon! You are training for it RIGHT NOW. Working on it RIGHT NOW. Boom, end of drama. Now is the only time and place there is. Be thankful for it all.

Will you be YOUR Valentine?

My good friend Whitney Fretham, an accomplished health coach and one of my first clients wrote this post last week. She shares it with us today because it is still every bit as relevant. Enjoy!

Posted on February 12, 2013 by Whitney Fretham

During the week of flowers, chocolates, stuffed animals, and incessant advertising by jewelry companies, I thought it might be an appropriate time to sit back and consider what this holiday of love means outside of commercial pressures. Sure, it’s a blatant opportunity to remind those in our life that we love and care for them, and a glaring day of loneliness to those who may feel unloved without a romantic partner… but isn’t it more? Can’t it be more?

I think it should be. And is. And so is every day. It’s an opportunity to truly turn inward and show ourselves the love and care we need and deserve.

Have you ever hated yourself? Or, if not hated, perhaps berated? Chastised, verbally or mentally abused, physically abused through harm or guilty, angry eating? I know I have.

I know I’ve done a poor job of actually treating myself with the same love and respect I treat others. I have been a poor friend to me, been abusive and degrading, and really loathed my very existence on occasions. I’ve felt unlovable, beaten down inside, and unworthy of happiness. I thought that if I punished myself enough for my failures and ineptitudes it would somehow motivate me to improve, to suck less, to be a better person.

What I’ve learned over the last several years is that hating myself and dishonoring my body and mind has done no good at all. In fact, it’s only held me back, and made bumps in the road feel like mountains. When I started to honor myself, to love and nurture and pamper the internal and external me, I realized I could be a better person. I felt worthy. I felt like I was competent and resilient, and that I DO deserve happiness.

I have been thinking a lot about these things lately, particularly after I was feeling overwhelmed and overstretched with my to-do list, and posted a facebook status wondering how parents handle it all with children. I immediately got a whole chain of responses by parents saying things similar to “your children become your life” and that it’s all about “putting yourself second to them.” When I expressed my understanding that yes, children do become and ARE a main priority, but I think it’s important to balance the self in a life with children, I felt immediately “mommy-shamed” (and I’m not even a mom yet!), as if my admittance that self-love is still important somehow made me a selfish person and unfit to be a good parent.

Something occurred to me when I was pondering this interaction and social norm – self-sacrifice for the good of others: Loving yourself less does not mean you can therefore love others more. You do not better the world or others around you – be they your children or strangers in another continent – by self-sacrificing, self-deprecating, and self-abusing. Love is not a tangible thing (like money), where you give less to yourself and you have more to give to others. Love is endless, intangible, ever expanding and conceiving. The more you give, the more you have.

And the more you honor and love yourself, the better person you can be to others. You will feel valuable. You’ll feel honored and respected. And when you feel that way, you want others to feel it too. So you share of yourself, your time, your possessions, and love.

Now, I’m not saying that you should love your children less or love others less – I hope that’s clear. And I’m certainly not saying that you should put your “beauty rest” or personal pampering wants before the immediate needs of a baby’s diaper changing or tending to hungry children (i.e. being a responsible and loving parent). But what I am saying is that there is a way to keep self-love in our lives without it being selfishness. These things are not the same at all.

Self-love is about honor and respect of life. It’s about seeing God within you – precious and good – and allowing that light to shine forth to others. It’s about modeling a behavior of treating your SELF the way you want others to treat you, and you want to treat others!

Selfishness is about denying others and seeing no value outside the self. It’s a callous armor of cowardice, a refusal to open and be vulnerable or share with others. It is not love, and it disrespects the value of others in your life.

Can you see how these things are sooooooo not the same thing?

When you make a practice of including time and activities in your life that honor your talents and interests, and nurture both your body and soul, you can truly be a better person/parent/sibling/friend/etc. You earn no medallions and save no lives by disrespecting and belittling your self and your own worth in your life.

So, I ask you this today: Will you be your own Valentine? How can you choose to honor and love yourself in a way that makes you a better parent, and a happier, more conscious person? What gift will you give yourself this week—and next week, and the week after –to renew the love you have for you? For many of my clients, even a simple 30 minutes set aside for a bubble bath or a designated activity they enjoy just for them can be the perfect way to nourish and refresh the body, mind, and soul.

I would love to hear what you’re going to do this week as your act of self-love and care. Please comment below, or share on facebook or in an email. You are worthy of love. Even by you.


ABOUT WHITNEY (www.shelivesfit.com)

I received my training as a Health Coach from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition's cutting-edge Health Coach Training Program.

During my training, I studied over 100 dietary theories, practical lifestyle management techniques, and innovative coaching methods with some of the world’s top health and wellness experts. My teachers included Dr. Andrew Weil, Director of the Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine; Dr. Deepak Chopra, leader in the field of mind-body medicine; Dr. David Katz, Director of Yale University’s Prevention Research Center; Dr. Walter Willett, Chair of Nutrition at Harvard University; Geneen Roth, bestselling author and expert on emotional eating; and many other leading researchers and nutrition authorities.

My education has equipped me with extensive knowledge in holistic nutrition, health coaching, and preventive health. Drawing on these skills and my knowledge of different dietary theories, I work with clients to help them make lifestyle changes that produce real and lasting results.

Unstick Your Self

STUCK.  Ooohhh, I know stuck.  I've spent a LOT of time in that dry county.  Stuck as stuck can be. That dull and frustrating place is what Dr. Seuss calls "The Waiting Place" in one of my favorite books, Oh, the Places You'll Go!  I have spent plenty of time there in my life.  As a matter of fact, I was there earlier this week.  And as another matter of fact, I am currently loitering around the entrance right now, as I procrastinate about confessing my earlier stuck behavior here...*sigh*

Okay, I suppose it is high time I get my Self unstuck and start walking my talk, right??  Gulp.  Here goes.

Well, you see, a couple of weeks ago, I signed up to participate in an online holiday fitness challenge.  Pick your workout, stay accountable to a coach and the other group members on a private Facebook group page, cheer each other on.  Great stuff!  And just what I need to help me change some lingering, less-than-stellar habits regarding my nutrition and exercise.  Start date was Monday of this week.


After skipping my first two days of workouts this week, I kind of went into a tailspin and decided it was high time I reflected on what my problem was. (*Note the past tense!  Over now.  Happy Dance!)

However, for those couple of days, more than being jaded or afraid of failure/success (though those were present, too), I realized I was having a security issue.  I have come back to this feeling again and again.  Usually, I only regress and repad the tire around my middle when I need security.  When I'm stressed, obviously but also when I'm avoiding things or when I'm stuck in some (highly irritating) way.

The reasons seem to be somewhat different each time but this time, I am pretty sure it was about stepping up my game, all the way around, inside AND out.  My body and looks are sort of a final frontier for me!  I was always the smart girl, never the pretty girl.  It was only recently that I started to really feel like I could be BOTH.  What a concept, right??
Actually, the Beauty + Brains topic could fill another post all by itself but, it got me thinking that stepping into this pretty girl skin could be a lot of great things for me, but also a lot of scary things!  New things.  Things I'm not well versed in.  Things I need to learn about!  Like how would I reconcile the smart with the pretty all of a sudden?
To add a complication, I'm sure I'm also afraid of entering a new romantic relationship.  It's been awhile since I've been with someone long term.  It took me a long time to recover from my first marriage and subsequent rebound affair.  I don't want to make the same mistakes again.  So, the tire, in my mind, keeps that possibility of a serious relationship at a very safe arms length.

Yeah, I am sure this is the bigger, deeper problem for me.  So, as always, I am jumping in with both feet and taking my chances!!!  I've never blinked at risk before so I'm not letting my subconscious sabotage me now, when my mind is so set on living my best life on every other level.


As my fantabulous Rock Star Weight Loss Coach, Therese Lean-Smith says, "Our weight allows us to make excuses for not going out there and getting all we deserve."  She also reminded me that feeling the fear and doing it anyway, owning my pretty side and doing everything in my power to be beautiful both inside and out is going to turbocharge my life in ways I didn't even know existed.  Plus, she reminded me that "having the courage to bust through my fears could be very inspirational and motivational" for others.  I could not have said it better my Self, Therese.

Yeah, it took awhile to dawn on me that a sense of security must be what is keeping me very well padded... in so many ways.

However, I have spent waaaaay too long holding back because of fear in my life, so I now make a point of stepping through it as soon as I recognize it for the beast it really is!  And I know that I will be a supernova turbocharged Tasmanian shedevil (in the best possible sense, of course) once I've squashed this stubborn fear.

The Result?

Yesterday, I blasted through CardioX with a huge grin on my face.  That felt AWESOME!  Oh yeah, I am back on the train.  And this time, that train is not stopping until it arrives at Brains + Beauty Station.

How about you?  Can you recognize when you are feeling stuck?

If so, how do you handle your stuckness?

Do you sit there in the dreaded Waiting Place and wallow in it, or do you dig deep and find the cause of what is holding you back?

Once you find that root, how do you yank it up to the surface, show it who's boss and show it the door?

No idea?  Want ideas?  NEED ideas?  Call me.  I know stuck.

No Worries

Part Three of the Bermuda Triangle of Negativity (after Doubt and Fear):  Worry.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to let your mind just wander off down the road to Worryland?

You know what I'm talking about.

And once it gets there, you can go totally crazy before you end up returning to reality.  Okay not literally crazy but I mean really!  Worry can really mess with a person.  People say it's because of a ripe imagination but I say it's only because of habit.

Back and forth, back and forth.  Boredom.  Habit.

This flow chart makes the road back to reality pretty simple, don't you agree?

And this?  Well, I just thought a zebra in a party dress with fruit on top was too gorgeous to pass up!

Made you laugh!


About Pamela

As a Self Discovery Expert and Truth Coach, I bring you the tools to BE your SELF and OWN your TRUTH through use of practical life strategies (like goal setting and time management) and creative exercises (such as mind-mapping).

Usually, my clients decide to work with me when dealing with co-dependent, controlling and/or emotionally abusive relationships in which the flame of their identity just barely survives.

I know how to help because the same thing happened to me, more than once.  Now that I have successfully found my Self and learned how to own my truth, I can help you to do the same.  I am really looking forward to working with you.  Contact me at pamela@elasticitycoaching.com to set up an initial, complimentary 30 minute Discovery Session.  Let's see if we click!

Pamela Wills, CPC