Are You a Commitment-Phobe?

maybeHere's the deal: We all deal with some version of issues with commitment. Trouble making decisions. Conflict when it comes to resolution. Difficulty with follow through. Take me, for example. I've committed to the Virgin Diet about five times in the past 12 months. It worked really well the first time! I committed to eight weeks of no dairy, gluten, eggs, corn, soy, peanuts or SUGAR. Which meant of course no wine and no chocolate. It was rough! But I did it and I lost 11 lbs. Felt amazing, too.

Since then, I have recommitted and slipped off the track... let's see... I think it's three more times now. I've made it two weeks, that was the longest. And melted away an inch or so. Regained my glow. It's the sugar, and sometimes the gluten that call me with a siren song...

Anyway. Commitment issues, right there peeps. That's one of mine. It's not tiny but, at least it doesn't keep me from moving forward. Especially since I balance it out with my committed yoga practice three to four times weekly.

However, some of us have trouble committing to all kinds of things. Some of us suffer from what's known as "Shiny Object Syndrome" and always end up chasing the next best thing.

It's kind of like when you're dating and your romantic partner seems elusive, like he/she doesn't want to be nailed down, won't commit. Takes random leaves of absence. Turns off the phone for hours at a time. Never gets back to you.

Does this sound like you at all? Listen, I hate to break it to you, but if you act like the commitment-phobic dater when it comes to your business, you're going to be riding down a very rocky road. You're going to have issues following your issues. And you're going to have to give your Self a big fat attitude adjustment in order to succeed. Just sayin'.

Here's a list of signs that you're more than just a little bit in denial ~ in fact, you might be a Commitment-Phobe (C-Phobe):lotsofarrows

1. You let your business projects languish for a week or more at a time. C-Phobes often use their full time job as an excuse for not getting sh!z done. You tend to make excuses for letting projects grow moss. You then complain that you don't have enough clients. This lifestyle also makes it easier to be unfaithful ~ to your SELF and your business. Sound familiar?

2. You don't mix co-workers with clients and/or business contacts. C-Phobes cannot be transparent with activities. Do you compartmentalize the different parts of your life? Do you keep your work life separate and/or secret from your business life? Do you mix your different sets of contacts or do you go to great lengths to make sure they don't meet or talk about you? Do you usually hide what you are doing so you don’t have to explain your Self? Do you concoct amazing excuses for why you can’t be at work and/or meet with clients? If you answer yes to these questions... just sayin'.

3. No one sees your business space! More likely, your "office" is in your car. C-Phobes have a habit of living a vagabond lifestyle. Your office is probably nothing more than a laptop, a cell phone and your website. You meet clients at Starbucks if by some chance you can't meet them in their office. You don't even own a desk. Is this you?

4. You're always attentive and charming when you're with clients. C-Phobes move in fast. You use charm and learned social skills to pursue clients ardently until you win them over. In itself, this attribute is effective and productive. But C-Phobe charm starts to wear thin once the fish is caught. You're always on to the next catch ASAP. Right?

5. You're a last-minute planner. Planning time for business activities is a form of commitment to your business. The C-Phobe freaks out when her boss at work plans her week. Part of your normal MO is staying in control of your calendar. If you do agree to do something the boss wants done, you’ll typically be late or cancel at the last minute. Does this happen to you often?

GetPastHisCommitmentPhobiaandMake6. You make your co-workers and/or family feel crazy. The C-Phobe finds a way to blame everyone else for stressful situations, so everyone starts doubting themselves and wondering if they are the crazy ones! If confronted, you won’t want to talk about it. You might become moody and behave badly. Have your closest friends and/or family expressed anything like this lately?

7. You suddenly lose interest when things heat up. C-Phobes LOVE the chase but not the capture. You have a history of brief, passionately launched businesses that tank fairly quickly. You also job hop like a jack rabbit. You are usually quick to explain away these breakups as being the fault of the former boss, company, clients, weather patterns or Santa Claus. HINT: It wasn't Santa's fault!!

Doing business with a C-Phobe is a very confusing experience. Not all commitment-phobic biz women will show all of these signs simultaneously, but most will show a significant number of them. If you are struggling with these signs your Self, wake up! It's time to smell the coffee!! Reality-check what is going on with trusted friends. If that doesn’t help you sort it out, seek the help of a professional (HINT: A biz coach like me!).

Newsflash: If you are truly commitment-phobic, your future can only contain heartbreak. Sad but true. It's time to grow up, Peter Pan!

Do you have any experience dealing with commitment-phobes in business? If so, share your experience in the comments! 


© 2014 Pamela Wills Coaching

Your Speak with Confidence Coach Pamela Wills teaches business women around the globe how to Fight the Fright!TM and overcome fear of public speaking to grow their success and positive impact. Get her FREE PDF “50 Instant Confidence Boosters” at