Is Positively Cool an Oxymoron?

You know what I've noticed?  Some people just aren't comfortable with the idea of sincere positivity coming at them.  Try to be nice to some people and they kind of snicker at you.  Sometimes they even sneer a bit.  And if you dare attempt to hug some others, they might just go scurrying for the door.  They just cannot handle it! I used be that snickering, sneering, scurrying person, the very one who got very uptight around super positive people.

Most of the time, I would brand the positive ones as superficial, stupid or insincere.  Even when I could sense that they were none of the above and that their positivity somehow (God only knows how) was sincere, the bitter cynic in me just could not stand to be around so much happy cheery positivity.  Seriously!  It hurt me physically.  Gave me migraines.  Made me nauseous.

I KNOW you know what I'm talking about here.

Of course, my pseudo-intellectual ex-husband AND my Queen's English wannabe rebound man both fed right into my less-than-adorable judgemental stance.  They both LOVED looking down their noses at anyone and everyone who went through life with a smile on his or her face.  Did their best to personally wipe it right off those faces as quickly as possible.  Made positivity look like the stupidest, uncoolest (look Ma, I just made up a word) and least desirable trait to display.

Of course, I joined right in with their kindergarten games.  Suited my immature Self just perfectly back then.

Fast forward to the present.

At this point, I have outrun and/or defeated the biggest demons of my lifetime so far.  I've dealt with divorce and all the drama that goes with it, battled and won court case after court case against a very stubborn and difficult ex-husband and "father" for full custody of my child, dived down into the depths of all kinds of insecurities, despondencies and uncertainties and returned to the surface of my scarred life filled with hope, laughter and yes, the dreaded "P" word.

Today, I am not afraid nor ashamed to admit that I am a total positivity junkie.  I love tossing words like "awesome", "super" and "fabulous" around.  Of course!  I feel I have too much time and too many barbed comments in my past to make up for.  I wore my coolness like so much heavy armor, protecting my fears and insecurities.  Now I sometimes feel like Ebenezer Scrooge's friend Jacob Marley with his yards of clanking chains, atoning for past cynicism.  Now, I guarantee you that every last word out of my mouth is sincerely felt and meant.

But I know that many can't imagine how that feels, let alone that it is possible.  The very idea makes them uncomfortable.  I know that many simply decide that I can't possibly mean everything I say.  So they keep their distance.  They say what they have to say and then move away as quickly as possible so as not to be infected by my smiles.

They're not exactly haters...

...but not exactly fans, either...

I know this, because that used to be me.  I used to be a hater.  Hated anything and everything that seemed too chirpy or happy or in-my-face positive.

Now, I know better.  Now, I'll take positivity and all that goes along with being a hug-and-smile kind of gal.  Especially if the alternative is to be snickering, sneering and scurrying or some other kind of whining crankypants with no sugar!  Now, I'll take sugar any day.  You?

---------------------------------------------------------- About Pamela

As your Confidence Coach, I bring you the tools to BE your SELF and OWN your TRUTH.

If you:

- don't know how to use your own voice anymore - used to feel like you could do anything - wonder why no one listens to you - feel invisible most of the time - don't have a plan for your future - can't even imagine your way into next week - wonder when your goals disappeared like that - feel all bottled up like wine with a dry cork - wish you could just run away some days - hate living in an emotional battlefield or wasteland - can't remember the last time you felt good about yourself - don't know when someone last complimented you on anything - feel as if flirting was something you did in another lifetime - don't remember how to have fun - This list goes on and on, doesn't it?...

I know what it's like and how to help because the same thing happened to me.  Now that I have successfully found my Self and learned how to own my truth, I can guide you through the steps it takes to succeed and THRIVE.  Email me directly at or visit my website at  Let's talk so we can identify your challenges and decide on your course of action.  I look forward to working with you!