Love Your Self

Consider this: A young woman meets a man, gets married and moves away from her home and family to start her own family. For various reasons that she doesn’t even notice on a daily basis, she gives up little pieces of her Self in order to fit into her new life, or to please her husband. She settles for less than what she wants and needs at her core in order to keep things running smoothly.  She covers her ears and eyes more and more often, puts bandages over her soul in order to hold things together for her children, for her marriage. She reminds herself of how good she has it — she loves her husband and kids, she has a great home, she has nothing to complain about.But somehow, she is miserable.  Why?

Maybe she was an aspiring painter when she got married and gave it up to raise her family. Or maybe she loves the outdoors but lives in a big city in order to be closer to work. Possibly, she works at a job that has nothing to do with her passion; getting up for work every day is absolute torture. Or maybe she has realized on some level that her marriage isn’t working, will never work, has never really worked. But she shoves all of her feelings, her desires and regrets in a box and hides that box deep inside her Self. And continues to live in her self-imposed cage, a songbird longing to take flight.

What happens next?

Well, I can only speak from experience. For most of my clients, the need for change becomes so overpowering that their feelings come busting out of that box and push the bird right out of the cage and up into the sky, no matter what the risks might be. That was my own story, too. I pushed my Self into a smaller and smaller box every year, every month, every day until that Self almost died from lack of oxygen, light and attention. The day I realized that I had to take action or let my Self perish was the day I busted out of that cage.

Of course, this situation happens to men as well. But as my clients are usually women, this is the story I tell.

“Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.” - Napoleon Hill

Does your Self need attention today? Do you know someone who has put Self into a box with no access to light or air? If so, here is one exercise that might help to reawaken the sleeping child of your Self and your dreams:

Get out a pen or pencil and LOTS of paper. Then start listing ALL of your attributes. EVERYTHING. Eye color, height, skin tone. Awards, degrees, certificates. Are you a parent, sibling, child? Are you a good friend, good listener? Are you a reliable employee? Do you like cheese? List everything.

When you hit #200, you are done. That’s right, 200! Take 20 to 30 minutes for this exercise. Then read what you’ve got. Maybe it will rekindle a tiny flicker of recognition for your long lost Self. Maybe it will help you hold onto and appreciate your current amazing Self.

When I went through my changes several years ago, I lived in Germany and did not use a coach. Now that I know how much support, guidance and accountability a good coach can give, I truly wish I had! If you or someone you know needs the support of an experienced coach, send me an email to get started on the road to rediscovery — it’s that simple.