Respect and How to Get Some

Do you ever feel like no one listens to you?  Do you hear your Self repeating the same ultimatums over and over again?  Do you sometimes feel like throwing your hands in the air and giving up??  Do you feel like you never get the respect you desire or deserve? Whether you're at home or at work, respect can be a real thorn for those of us with confidence issues, past or present.  It seems nearly impossible to get people to cooperate when you can't even get them to listen, right??

Believe me, I know what I'm talking about here.

As a dance teacher and occasional substitute teacher in the past, I've often wrestled with getting a roomful of noisy students to settle down and listen up.  Part of my struggle is my low tone of voice, but previously my struggles centered around uncertainty and low confidence.

So, how did I change things, you ask?

First of all, I worked on building up my courage.  I just jumped in with both feet and kept on putting my Self into situations that would force me to grow and force me to command respect.

For instance, I just finished choreographing a community theater production of Cabaret (have I mentioned this recently?, during which conflicting personalities and styles of learning combined with limited rehearsal time often resulted in a few unhappy, resentful dancers who were sometimes unwilling to accept me as the teacher.


Well, if our audiences are any indication, we have all succeeded despite our trials and challenges, despite our issues with giving and getting respect.

So, what is my formula for getting respect? I hear you asking me.  Here is my awesome-sauciness recipe:

1)  Talk to your Self with respect If you don't, then really, who will??

2)  Surround your Self with other people who treat you with respect Kind of obvious, no?  Even if this seems impossible in your current circumstances, vow to ignore your haters.  Treat them like the crickets they are -- silent whenever you get too close.

3)  Treat others with respect Duh.

4)  Step up to the plate Be the lion.  Practice courage daily.  Take a chance on doing something you really want to do.  Stand up for what you believe in, for a friend, for your Self.  Speak up.  Speak your truth, your OWN truth.  Stop avoiding conflict, embrace it and learn from it.  Courage is a muscle -- build it, flex it, keep it limber.

5)  Follow through If you say you're going to do something, do it.  If you threaten to punish your kids with no TV for a week, stick to it.  If you promise to reward them for something, do so.  Be a person true to your word.

6)  Accomplish, finish things Don't leave stuff undone.  Once you buy the paint to re-do your bathroom walls, get out the brushes and get painting!  If you take a class (or your child does), then finish it -- don't make excuses to bow out and quit.  Goes hand in glove with #5.

7)  Ditch perfection It's really okay to be in the learning stages of things while you're learning things.  It's really okay if your house isn't perfectly clean all. the. time.  It's really okay if your relationship or marriage isn't as perfectly passionate as it was back in the day.  Priorities shift, life goes in cycles, things and people change.  Respect change and it will respect you.

Is feeling respected important to you?  Do you feel like you get enough respect at home and/or at work?  Hit REPLY and tell me about it.  The more I know about your challenges and successes, the better I can help you!

---------------------------------------------------------- About Pamela

As your Confidence Coach, I bring you the tools to BE your SELF and OWN your TRUTH.

If you:

- don't know how to use your own voice anymore - used to feel like you could do anything - wonder why no one listens to you - feel invisible most of the time - don't have a plan for your future - can't even imagine your way into next week - wonder when your goals disappeared like that - feel all bottled up like wine with a dry cork - wish you could just run away some days - hate living in an emotional battlefield or wasteland - can't remember the last time you felt good about yourself - don't know when someone last complimented you on anything - feel as if flirting was something you did in another lifetime - don't remember how to have fun - This list goes on and on, doesn't it?...

I know what it's like and how to help because the same thing happened to me.  Now that I have successfully found my Self and learned how to own my truth, I can guide you through the steps it takes to succeed and THRIVE.  Email me directly at or visit my website at  Let's talk so we can identify your challenges and decide on your course of action.  I look forward to working with you!