Splurge Friendly Zone

Ever since I decided to make “Love Your Self” my business mantra last year, my imagination has exploded with a zillion ideas on just how to do that. I mean, it’s kind of like the most amazing gift you would never buy for your Self because it’s just too luxurious. We rarely splurge on our Selves. That is so sad!

Well, I am declaring this post a splurge-friendly zone. Right here, right now. Are you with me?? Great! Let’s dive in!

I Hereby Declare a ZILLION Ways to Love Your Self:

(Maybe more like a bunch of ways... A zillion would take way too long.)




Wait – let’s pause here. These are what I call the Basic Three. I don’t believe they require explanations. I’ll be straight with you: If you’re not loving your Self enough to practice the Basic Three Self-care habits regularly, you need to STOP HERE and go back to #1.

(You thought I was going to dive right into the splurge zone, didn’t you. Well, first we’ve gotta do what we’ve gotta do, before we can get to the treats...)

Serious, tough love coaching moment coming at you now:

The Basic Three are NON-NEGOTIABLE.

If you cannot take care of your Self enough to just GO TO BED, MOVE YOUR BODY and EAT WELL regularly, you need to hit the reset button, my dear. You KNOW I’m right.

Okay. NOW we can move on to indulgences.

4) Be Nice to Your Self



TOP priority, right up there with the Basic Three. I will go so far as to say if you don’t start doing this, you will never truly love your Self. If you don’t want to live a painfully lonely, seriously miserable and awfully whiny life, you WILL stop assaulting your amazingly powerful Self with nagging, doubting, fearful, negative internal chatter. Got it??

Instead, you WILL start practicing POSITIVE SELF TALK.

Be your own BFF!!! If you don’t, then why should anyone else??

5) Give Your Self Time

Ever feel like a hamster on a wheel? Like you never have time to even finish your to-do list for the day, let alone put your Self on the schedule? Yeah, it’s positively epidemic among women these days.

Here’s my antidote: ME TIME.

Treat your Self to some ME TIME at least once per week. Work your way up to once per day and then once per hour! Time to do whatever the heck makes you tick, purr, or just smile! Create, dance, play, sing, nap, bake, garden, shop, surf, read – it is up to you entirely. You will see huge benefits from this practice, I promise you. Soon enough, others will start to make time for your Me Time and start putting you first, too.

6) Look Your Best

Are you that woman who schleps to the grocery store in her sweats on Saturdays? Who doesn’t bother to wear makeup when working from home? Is your grey hair showing at the roots because you can’t be bothered to take the time or the cash to color it? I’m not talking to the ladies who make a conscious choice not to use cosmetics for their own reasons. I’m talking about laziness or worse, ignorance of Self-care.


When you look good, you feel DYNAMITE! You KNOW it’s true.

7) Pamper Your Self

Tell me, when was the last time you felt like purring with contentment? You know what I mean, that feeling you get on a lazy weekend morning when you wake up after a deliciously long night’s sleep (maybe some great sex, too...see #8, Touch Your Self...) with a soft warm ray of sunlight caressing your face. THAT is the kind of pampering feeling I mean.

Just pause and consider what it will take to make you purr. Will a hot bubble bath do it for you? An afternoon nap? These are simple ideas and they only require making time for YOU.

If you want to get more advanced about it, get creative. Think beyond the mani/pedi – go for a full day at the spa. Or hit the gym for an entire afternoon. Take your Self to the movies or to dinner. Plan that big Girls’ Night Out you’ve been talking about for months. Give your Self time to play! (see #5, Give Your Self Time).

8) Touch Your Self

Relax, I’m not going into any embarrassing details here. All I’m saying is that the power of touch can save your life. If you live with loved ones, you’re in luck. You can always get a hug, give a neck or foot rub, or pet your pet.

However, if you live alone and/or you’re not in a romantic relationship, it can be a challenge to give and receive enough appropriate touch. Therefore, I hereby decree that it is not only okay but ESSENTIAL that you touch your Self every day!

You heard me.

Don’t freak out on me now, you’re talking to a woman who never even used a vibrator until age 42. Touch can include a lot of simple actions, including massaging your hands when you apply hand cream, your face and body when you apply moisturizer, your scalp when you shampoo and condition. You can also hug your Self any time, it’s a lovely way to make your Self feel loved. And of course, sexual Self-love counts, too. You choose. You’re in the driver’s seat (see #9...).

9) Put Your Big Girl Panties On

It is time to stop making excuses. Start taking responsibility. Stop blaming the weather, the economy, your mother and/or your spouse for your woes.


That’s right, YOU drive the vehicle known as YOUR LIFE. If you’ve been allowing someone else to drive your life, WAKE UP and take back the wheel! This is the only life you get. Don’t sleep through it. Claim your power. Be all that you can be while you still have the chance!

10) Allow Your Self to Dream

Your dreams miss you. Remember when you used to make plans for the future? I’m not talking about next week’s meal plans or the next family vacation to Disneyworld. I mean your goals, aspirations, DREAMS. Remember those?

Our dreams are our direct connections to our soul. Our goals reflect our passions. Without them, our souls shrivel up and our passions flame out and die. We end up living life in beige.

I KNOW you don’t want to be beige.

Take your dreams out of that dark corner and dust them off. It’s time to revisit them. Setting goals, making plans and dreaming about your passions will help you sizzle again. And sizzle is the first whiff of charisma, which leads to charm...


© 2014 Pamela Wills Coaching, Int’l

Your Speak with Confidence Coach Pamela Wills teaches business women around the globe how to Turn on the Charm, Fight the Fright!TM and overcome fear of public speaking to grow their success and positive impact. Get her FREE audio badass teleclass, “Ten Ways to Spice Up Your Branding, Boldness & Bank Account” at www.PamelaWills.com.